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New Eyes

April 25, 2017

The other day while grocery shopping at sprouts, I witnessed something that pierced me. I was scoping out my veggies and I heard a guy yelling at some woman saying I don't want to be near you anyways, you're nasty. Get your fat ass away from me! Apparently she had cut him off, by accident, while walking in the grocery store. What? Really?! That made you blow up like that, brah? He continued to walk by me yelling at her, at this point I was still really confused on what was going on. He continued to call her fat and right as I was trying to muster up the word stop, he quickly ran away. I didn't really know what to do in that moment. I wanted to chase after him and give him a piece of my mind BUT that moment of him yelling at her I saw SO much hurt and pain on his face. I stared in this guys eyes and froze, completely taking him in. I felt bad for this man. I know that sounds backwards but its not. For someone to act out and lash out like they would have to be in an immense amount of pain. No one who feels good about themselves would freak out at another human being like that.

 

I forgot about her for a moment till I heard her crying behind me. Who wouldn't be hurt? This poor lady was shocked at how cruel someone else could be. Initially I wanted to be on my way and not get involved but there was no way I could just leave it. I walked up to her and I had to tell her what I observed. I reminded her that this had nothing to do with her and that he was really hurting. Clearly that man is unhappy with himself. She sniffling and cried but shook her head in agreement. I gave her the biggest hug and told her that she is amazing and to not worry about those words. Those weren't for her to hold. 

 

I tell this story because I realized in that moment that I was looking at the world with different eyes as of late. I wasn't looking at the world like I used to, like I was a victim, that things were personal. When someone does something mean to me my reaction is no longer to take it personal ( well, practicing this I should say) I am seeing beyond the action. You see, there are always reasons for peoples behavior and it usually has nothing to do with the person they are attacking. Not saying their actions are excused, but I used to take everything so personally and would fight back. Now I sit back, I observe and I notice their pain behind their actions. I felt for that women today but I really felt for that guy. He is walking around this earth with a lot of anger and that shit is heavy and it only gets heavier the more it builds. One of the best feelings in my life has been forgiving those who have really hurt me. Its not really necessary to call out their names and put them on blast. I will say though that not only did they show me who they truly were in those moments but they also taught me lessons about myself. This quote I live by has helped me stay compassionate for others AND myself.

 

"Everyone is doing the best they can according to their own level of consciousness."

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